apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize