Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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