ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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