i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
