I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
