we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
