HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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