i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So many bounce houses so little time
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
