he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
