I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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