Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
