if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
