Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
