did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
