Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
