then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Less talking, more tequila
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize