Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Everything about him screamed your future.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
