dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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