I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
