he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
