You're my little dorito
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
