never play flip cup with pint glasses
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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