google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
