I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
