yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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