Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
