i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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