no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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