I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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