I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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