am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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