and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize