You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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