i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
