I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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