I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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