I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize