Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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