This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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