Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
