Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize