The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You can't just leave with hair like that
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
