I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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