STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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