Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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