i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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