I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
