wakey wakey hands off snakey
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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