There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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