I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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