THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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