I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
