I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
