38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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