honey bunches of taint.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
