Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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