If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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