i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
