Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
