fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pants are for mortals
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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