Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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